Linen suits and straw hats allegedly keep everyone cool, comfortable, and stylish in the summer swelter. But the truth is if you live somewhere where it actually gets hot (like, anywhere in the United States) you will sweat when wearing a suit outside in July. I tried to get at the hot, damp truths behind some typical summer style tips and tropes.
| Pro |
Con |
- Practical Panama hat keeps sun off face
|
- Spent entire vacation budget on practical Panama hat
|
- In hot weather, short-sleeved shirts allow airflow to cool body
|
- Forearms not sufficiently muscled/tattooed to bare
|
- Boat shoes
|
- Owning a boat
|
- Can show off sweet new Solaro suit
|
- So hot, you have visible pit stains the second you step out your door
|
- Short pants
|
- Ankles gnawed to raw bone by mosquitoes
|
- Summer wedding season
|
- Awareness that you’ll be forever alone
|
- Casually unbuttoning one more button on shirt
|
- Chest hair never grew in right after shaving experiment
|
- Can go sockless with double monks
|
- Living in the past
|
- White trousers, Gatsby style
|
- Inevitable sangria/Negroni stains on white trousers
|
- Going commando (kinda sexy!)
|
- Awareness that subway seatmate is probably also going commando
|
- New Daniel-Craig-as-James-Bond-style bathing suit
|
- Derisive laughter of significant other/cat
|
- Quality leather sandals
|
- Stubborn toenail fungus
|
- Classic pique golf shirts
|
- Actually playing golf
|
- Hot summer jams
|
- None
|
-Pete